SAMPLE ~READ FIRST~

These are a series of example applications, both good and bad, that I am writing for all of you new comers to show you what we expect.




This is Tom.
Tom is a Shinigami.




Bad


Shinigami


Name: Tom
Age: 12
Gender: Male
Unit (1-13th): 1st
Zanpakutou: the name of his zampacktou is toms zampacktou
Shikai: he says 'release! toms zampacktou and it turns into a enormus ax with the power to shoot a strong waveout when it gets swung.
Bankai can not be obtained from the beginning. Sorry.
Brief Appearance: hes tall and muscular. blue hair. red eyes and a scar on his cheek.
Brief Personality:hes quiet and likes to fight. people dont want to be a round him cause he has such a scary personality and likes to fight so much.
History:he got killed in a fight against 15guys with guns and woke up in soul society. he went to the school and graduated in 1 year because he was so strong and such a fast learner and got put in 1st squad. he kills hallows all the time now.
RP Sample: he looks at the hallow and smiles. "todays not a good day for you he said and swings his zampacktou it will kill the hallow instantly. that was easy he thinks



So..... anyone see where that went wrong? That my friends is an example of what should be avoided at all costs. We won't even consider accepting a profile as indescribably horrific as this one was.




Passable

Shinigami

Name: Tom
Age: Tom looks like hes 17.
Gender: Male
Unit (1-13th): 1st

Zanpakuto: The name of his zampakto is Toms Zampakto. It looks like a regular katana, but with a red stripe on the hilt.

Shikai: "Release" is the word that changes Toms Zampako. When he says that word, the zampakto turns into an enormous ax that looks like Tom shouldn't be able to even lift it up and gains the power to launch a wave of light as he swings it.

Bankai can not be obtained from the beginning. Sorry.

Brief Appearance: Tom is a muscular man, with broad shoulders and an impressive height of about 6 and a half feet. He has long blue hair and red eyes. There is a thin scar on his left cheek that is hard to see without looking closely though.

Brief Personality: Tom is quiet, barely talking to anyone who isn't a superior officer. He loves fighting almost as much as Zaraki Kenpachi does, but knows that he could never be as good of a shinigami as the eleventh squad captain, even though that is one of his goals in life. He is a suck up when it comes to his superiors, basically groveling at their feet and waiting on them hand and foot, but while he does this, he thinks of how they'll one day do the same to him.

History: Tom was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He walked into an alley just as a group of around 6 or 7 men shot at a few people lined up on a wall. He tried to run away without being seen, but one of the men saw him. He was shot in the back just as he burst into the street. Someone called an ambulance, but it was too late. He died on the way to the hospital. A voice called out to him, telling him it would be alright, that he was going to a better place. When he opened his eyes, he was in a new world. He got use to the place and heard that there were some people who fought monsters called hollows. He asked around and found out where he should go to become one of these people. He was enrolled in the Shinigami academy, and through years of hard work, he became a full fledged Shinigami. Every since then, hes scraped and scrounged his way up the ladder of the shinigami ranks.

RP Sample: Every since he'd come to the human world on an assignment, Tom had been attacked by hollows. Today was no acception. A hollow with bat like wings and a body that reminded Tom of a snake stared him in the face, its dull, black eyes staring into him. Tom just smirked, saying "Too bad for you, hollow. If you'd just ignored me, I may have let you live." Then, he brought his zampakto down, slashing the hollows mask in two. He watched as the hollow was purified, wishing for more difficult fights.


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Much better, don't you agree? This is the very minimum you must have in order to be accepted, and even then, we may ask you to chance some things, like maybe to elaborate on one or two things or to fix some small grammar errors.




And now for the final example.


Guaranteed Acceptance


Shinigami


Name: Tom

Age: This man was born in the early nineteen hundreds, a time in which life was hard. He died at the age of twenty-three, although now he appears to be in his early thirties.

Gender: Male

Unit (1-13th): First


Zanpakuto


Zanpakutou Appearance: Tom's sealed Zanpakuto appears to be a normal katana, nothing more, nothing less. In fact, the only thing to differentiate it from one of its counterparts would be the thin, red, web-like pattern on the hilt.

Name and Release Phrase: The name of this Zanpakuto is 'Tom's Zanpakuto' and it is released into its Shikai by the words 'Be Free'

Shikai:

Even as Tom utters the two words that hold so much power, his Zanpakuto begins to change. The blade shrinks in length drastically, becoming wider as it does so, and the hilt lengthens, becoming as long as one of his legs, widening ever so slightly as the spider web design crawls up it, becoming part of the blade. The Zanpakuto slowly becomes a double headed ax.

The ability of his shikai is not to be trifled with, even if its power comes nowhere close to matching the power of a captain. At the word 'flash,' a shock wave of golden light will spring from the blade, its strength controlled by the amount of reiatsu Tom wishes to put forth. Unless he keeps that amount relatively small, he will soon tire.

Brief Appearance: Tom is a man with a stature of terifying proportions. His immense height of six and a half feet is complimented by bulging muscles and deep, blood red eyes that seem to stare into your soul, seeing all of your weaknesses, turning them against you. Without a doubt, this man is a horrifying sight to behold. His blue-black hair hangs in his face, hiding the nearly invisible scar on his left cheek. His smile, if in fact he has one, reveals two brilliantly white rows of teeth. His abdomen is exposed since he wears only the bottom half of his Shinigami clothing, revealing a massive amount of scars on both his chest and his back, along with a tattoo of the insignia of first division on the upper part of his back.

Brief Personality: Its not by choice that this behemoth of a man is a recluse, but rather because, like Zaraki Kenpachi, most fear him because of both his size and his open willingness to throw himself into battle. The foe matters not at all to this man. Still, he can't complain. There were very few people he wants to talk to anyway. He spends most of his days either training, or in the living world, fighting some weak hollow or another. That, or getting 'drunk off his ass' as he says. He loves women, especially those with the.... gifts Matsumoto Rangiku was endowed with, but he has long since given up trying to find one of his own, seeing as how he scares most away.

History: He lived in the United States of America for all of his life, working on the farm his family owned. He never went to school, he couldn't afford to, especially as his parents got on in their years. He spent more and more time in the house with his parents with every passing year, going to town every once in a while to run errands. He had no complaints though. Every time he went to town, he had a chance to fight, and damn did he love to fight. It was on one of these trips that he picked a fight with the wrong person. His mother had long since died and his father was well on his way to joining her. It was during the first years of the Depression, and he'd had almost no time to himself, no time to blow off some steam. The guy looked like he'd be a good fight, and he was, but Tom was better. If that "sorry son of a bitch" hadn't had that knife he would have won. He was stabbed in the neck. It took only minutes for him to die. The next few days were a haze to him. Nothing was clear, but he knew he was dead. He also knew that without him, his father would soon die as well. Countless times he tried to break the chain that held him and countless times he failed. One day, salvation came. It came in the form of a strange fellow, one in black robes. He was hit on the head with a sword and next thing he knew, he was in a strange place he'd never seen before. He wandered for weeks, finally settling in the roughest place he could find. A place called Zaraki. He occasionally saw another person in black robes, but when he asked who they were, he got the same answer over and over. "Death Gods." He liked the sound of that and so set out to become one of these "Death Gods." He joined the academy and graduated pretty low in his class. He couldn't grasp Kidou. But he became what he had set out to become and was satisfied for a time. Then the sword revealed its shikai to him and he began to desire more. Slowly he began scrounging his way up the ladder of first division.


RP Sample:Every since he'd returned to the human world on an assignment, Tom had been attacked by hollows. Today was no acception. A hollow with bat like wings and a body that reminded Tom of a snake stared him in the face, its dull, black eyes staring into him. Tom just smirked, saying "Looks like someone wants to play." The hollow let out a his and Tom thought He's an ugly son of a bitch isn't he? He knew that this hollow too would be unworthy of dying by his shikai, and wearily unsheathed the sword, wishing to be confronted by a worthy opponent for a change. "If you'd only have left me alone, you worthless piece of hollow garbage, you would have saved me the trouble of killing you. With those words of finality, Tom swiftly brought his zanpakuto up, slashing the hollows mask in two as he'd done so, then resheathed the blade, watching as the hollow was purified. Worthless, said a voice in his head. "Absolutely worthless," he agreed.